Having the honour of witnessing and holding my clients is one of the biggest blessings in my life. It’s also a responsibility and a trust that I take very seriously. I learned early on in my private practice that the only way to uphold this tremendous trust that my clients put in me every day is to take care of myself.
As therapists, at least the ones who truly understand that the relationship is the therapy, we show up in our sessions with our hearts, bodies and minds open; we allow ourselves to be vulnerable so that we can be real and connect on a human level. What does that mean? It means that as we receive our clients’ stories of childhood abuse and neglect, domestic violence, substance abuse, rape, incest, debilitating depression, paralyzing anxiety, and much, much more, we are impacted. How can we not be? Is that not what it means to be human? To hold the hearts that come to us to be seen, to be heard, to be reminded that they matter?
I often make some form of art with my clients as they work through their process. If stuff comes up for me, I notice it, I acknowledge it and I hear my heart whisper to the feeling “I know you’re there and I’ll be back to spend some time with you in a little while”. And I mean it. And I do. After my sessions, I finish updating my client’s file and then immediately turn to the arts? Why? Because I know there may be something within me that needs witnessing, holding or tending to. There may not be, but I always like to check in. More often than not, the and outpouring of creative expression begins and I give myself plenty of time to be with.
This is such an important part of my practice as an Expressive Arts Therapist. This morning, my client was processing fear and how it gets in her way and is robbing her of the life she longs for. We journaled for a bit with one of my favourite prompts: “If I was not afraid, I would…” and allowed a flow of consciousness to begin to uncover the whispers. I invited my client to choose one of the things she would do, have or be if she wasn’t afraid and just allow herself to indulge in it for a moment. She did. And in that indulgence, she found comfort; that more than anything, what she wants is comfort. And so she brought that comfort into her art and began exploring it through her senses.
What arrived was profound. I don’t know why it continues to surprise me when the art shows up and speaks truths we haven’t been able to connect with for years, sometimes decades, but it does. I journaled with my client and then I began this image. There were just a few lines during our session. The rest came during my processings afterwards. For me, what really landed was trust. Can I learn to trust myself enough to make some space between me and fear? Can I begin to explore the place where fear and courage meet? So many questions. So much to play with. I’m grateful for this gift. All of it. Alhamdulilah!<